Divorce Ain’t Yeezy
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West (Original Photo by Noel Vasquez/Getty Images; Licensed under Creative Commons CC-BY 2.0)
In the world of celebrity divorce, the Kim Kardashian and Kanye West drama surrounding the termination of their nuptials is not particularly novel. Celebrities have big personalities, big expectations, and big war chests to be as aggressive, or as petty, as they choose to be. That often translates into sensationalized tabloid style headlines.
In my humble opinion, Kanye’s recent posts don’t serve his interests. They may feel righteous, at least from his perspective—but they are petty. And when they are put before the court, the judge will not likely consider these actions to have been in the best interest of the children.
I believe that Kanye is currently represented by counsel, and no doubt his posts cause his lawyers to cringe. However, depending on the lawyers’ relationship with Kanye, they may not have the client control to course-correct. And indeed, they may be comfortable riding the wave – given that inflammatory remarks like those made by Kanye, may shift the case (and the billing) into overdrive.
With Kanye’s posts in mind, I created the following list of Do’s and Don’ts that may be helpful to parties going through a divorce – both those represented by counsel and those going at it alone:
What Not to Do (a Desperate Plea From Your Divorce Lawyer):
Don’t make it public. Leave all the drama off of social media. For that matter, stay off of social media. We all know it’s not healthy for us. At the very least, don’t contribute to the salacious content that brings people flocking back every day (hour).
Don’t say/write anything you don’t want the judge to see. Everything you say or post can be used against you in the court of law. Whether the message/post makes representations about your finances, your parenting, your case – the information can be offered into evidence.
Don’t reveal confidential information. There are plenty of things to post about, if you’re so inclined. Leave case-related information out of the public eye, and non-attorneys’ ears. The only people who owe you a duty of confidentiality are your lawyers. Everyone else can (and could be compelled to) reveal information you told them related to your case.
Don’t assume you’re the smartest person in the room. Your joke may be an inside joke. It may be hilarious. But if the judge doesn’t think so – then you may have unwittingly placed yourself at a disadvantage in your case.
What to Do:
Be civil. Treat your ex, your ex’s attorney, the court and the process with respect. Even if one or more don’t necessarily deserve it. Any negativity towards any of these people will likely come back to bite you.
Be quiet. Less. Is. More. The old adage of having two ears and one mouth so you could listen twice as much as you talk rings exponentially true in family law matters. If you have a lawyer, let them do the talking. If you don’t, listen carefully and wait for the right opportunities to directly respond to relevant matters.
Be more in love with your children than angry at your ex. This one can also be phrased as: Be willing to give in. Family law, and especially custody, is not a zero sum game wherein you will win when the other side loses. Most often, if you’re litigating, everyone loses. Except for the lawyers, of course.
Be responsible. Be where you’re meant to be. Respond to what you’re asked. Step up and show the court that you are the best version of yourself, at the very least from here on out.